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When you fall in love with someone from another town, a different part of the county or maybe even from another country, it can be hard to make things work. In this blog post we’re going to explore how to make a long distance relationship work without spending loads of money and worsening your financial situation.
Why Worry About Your Finances?
One of the reasons I want to focus on finance is because with a long distance relationship you can end up spending lots of money on travel. When you fall for someone you want to spend a lot of time with them, but that can detriment your bank account.Not only the spending money on flights but maybe even your career prospects as you are more interested in getting off work early than actually doing your work. Eventually, should things go well, you may consider moving in together or maybe even getting married. A good financial situation will help in that case, so don’t put a negative on it which might affect that future.
Opportunity
There’s a saying which goes “If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to live apart.” This is your opportunity to learn to live apart before you perhaps live together. Consider your long distance relationship as an opportunity to learn a lesson and perhaps even test the strength of your relationship and love. You don’t have to be in communication with each other every waking hour. This is something many people fall into because they are compensating for the physical distance between them. It doesn’t work. Your bond will get stronger should you pass this test.
Ground Rules & Effort
Should you enter a long distance relationship you need to make the effort to be in contact with one another. Not every minute of the day as mentioned above, but get creative with the ways you communicate. Send each other video messages or audio messages so the other one can watch or listen to them when they’re out of their important meeting. Phone calls don’t always work because you have different work lives going on, maybe even different time zones, but we live in a world where we can lave each other messages whenever we want. Ground rules also need to be set. Are you exclusive? How often will you travel to see one another? It needs to be a 50/50 relationship. Communication is key so everyone knows what is going on and no hearts are broken.
Should You Date Locally?
In the early days it can be hard. If you’re not exclusive or you’re doubting the longevity of your long distance relationship, you can always look closer to home. If you live in Winchester, for example, take a look and see if you could Date Hampshire Singles. There are many places where you can see who is around your local area such as The Hampshire Dating Site. Maybe you think you’re too old for a long distance relationship and you could find someone nearby instead. Check Mature Hampshire Dating should you want to. If nothing else, an exercise like this will help you to see that this person at the other end of a four hour flight is completely worth it.
Enjoy Your Alone Time
You’re probably likely to never have this alone time again, should you end up getting married. Enjoy that time you have by yourself. Do things you love without having to be accountable to others. Spend time with your family and friends. Make the most of this free time because if you don’t, you may regret it and even become annoyed with and resentful of your future spouse down the line.
Make The Most Of The Journey
If you’re travelling long distances to spend time with each other, the last thing you want to be doing is checking your emails when you’re with each other. Make the most of the journey to and from one another. Pack the laptop, use it on the flight, but put it back in it’s case when you’re together. Turn of your notifications to enjoy a day together. We should note here that it shouldn’t always be the same person travelling. You should want to both be part of each others lives so spending time in both places you live with both families and friendship groups is key. It’s important that you both have as much of an investment in this as one another too, financially too.
Long Term Goals
The realistic side of a long distance relationship is that it cannot stay long distance, long term. Eventually you will want to settle down. Discuss, openly, your long term goals together. Maybe it’s a five or ten year plan. Working towards a joint end goal helps you in those tough times of not being together. You can count it down, telling yourself that it’s only for another six months, for instance. These goals can and should include monetary goals so you can perhaps quit your job and move in together.
Other Top Tips
Send snail mail. Give the other person something really important to you to look after. Hit like on their Instagram post when you see it. Take an interest in their schedule and remember what they’re up to. Watch the same show at the same time, even if you’re not in the same room. It gives you something to talk about and it’s a shared experience. Stay positive. When negative feelings start creeping in you’ll start to doubt your long term relationship. It has to be right for both of you and with open and honest communication, you’ll nail it.
